Is it just me or have you ever experienced while wearing your hair extensions, weave, tracks, wigs, clip-ins, bundles or whatever your choice word is for them gotten a bad wrap or negative attention directed towards you just for making the decision to wear hair that technically is not growing out of your own scalp???
I know the majority of us have read multiple articles and blogs especially on as being an African American woman that wearing hair extensions is deemed as one of the biggest cultural sins against our historical roots mainly determined from others within our very own community or read as a woman wearing weave it is interpreted as not accepting the person God created us to be, or that we are just overall superficial people and FAKE!.....REALLY???
In my own personal experience I received backlash with my decision to wear weave from a hand full of people; men claiming they loved my "natural" beauty rather than my extensions but met me in the club with a head full of somebody else's hair and still begged for my number! Boy stop! Lol! People I knew, people I didn't, but it was a light conversation on this topic from a family member that really resonated with me when I shared my excitement about getting my new over $400 bundles installed (may I add a cliff note here, my mortgage and bills were paid, food in my refrigerator, gas in my car, no kids, and a little extra spending money on deck!) she laughed immediately in my face! I didn't engage in her childish response or even chose to defend my position because that would have led to some family drama but I did say "I can do what I want with my money", and continued to watch her rant and rave in how ridiculous my decision was when I could easily just wear the hair on my head as she rocked her "natural" purple yarn threaded dreads.......gurrrrrl please!
Why is that when I make the choice (because it my choice) to wear weave I'm automatically labeled as insecure, having low self-esteem, I want to appear more European like, I'm brainwashed or that I have little to no hair???? Why can't it just be that I love the low maintenance wearing weave is for me and my lifestyle, I enjoy the versatility of changing my hairstyle up with color and bleach on a regular, or that wearing my natural hair braided underneath my wig unit actually helps my hair to grow! Or in hind sight can a chic just want some big, sexy bed curls and some added length and that be that :) Sheesh!
Let's not get it misconstrued either, I don't mind wearing my natural hair (which falls just past bra length when pressed, so I'm not bald headed just for all the skeptics. Check out my first blog "To Weave or Not to Weave" for pictures). I love bantu knotting my hair (when I have time) and unraveling it the next morning to discover a new fun curl pattern, or just wearing my hair blown out and able to let it breathe freely looking like Rudy from the Huxtables.
Really at this point with my natural hair journey I want to preserve and protect my hair and get it to be as strong and healthy as possible and weave has helped achieve that for me! BUT my decision to wear weave doesn't define who I am as an individual. Just in the same way that my weight, the color of my skin, or my sexual origin defines the content of my character. Although, in today's society people see who you are and judge first rather than learning and understanding the person that lies within.....even in your own family chile! Smh
For me personally, weave is merely just an option and I know for a lot of other women (Black , White, Hispanic, Asian, etc. - please tell me you knew other women besides Black women wore weave???), "natural", relaxed, or somewhere in between the feeling is mutual. And if weave is not an option for whatever reason stand firm and confident in your decision, BUT the shaming, and "warring" between the women that do and the others that don't needs to stop! A woman should have the freedom and power to explore and figure out what fits her best and style her hair however she feels most comfortable without receiving any backlash because she's not living up to someone's predetermined standard of "blackness" or "beauty". Ladies do what makes YOU happy! Do what makes you feel good and what's within your means, because there's nothing sexier than a fearless woman who carries herself in boldness!